Do I Need a Justification?

Trying to Make Some Sense

With a little more than two months before I stand at the southern terminus, I’ve begun to think about my intentions for this thru-hike. I’ll admit that thru-hiking is a pretty ridiculous thing to do and I don’t think I can make any rational claims about why I am choosing to hike this hike. Still I have tried to come up with some: “I think it will serve as a good transisiton between college and all that is to come after,” or,” this will really help me understand myself better as I start a start a new chapter of life,” or “I will gain a better understanding of my wants and intentions.” I don’t think I have thought of anything out of the ordinary and I feel rather uninspired by my list. It’s a fine list and I think all those things can be true, I just don’t think any of these aspirations will be met on trail. I heard someone say once that, “thru-hiking leaves you with more questions than answers,” and having hiked the Colorado Trail in 2022 I find this to be very true to my experience. The hiking life is just so far removed from everyday life that it really should not be thought of in the same terms.

In truth, I’m not hiking for anything that is for “normal-life”, I’m hiking to be fully immersed in the hiking life. That is really what this is all about. I just love it. You can watch videos and read about it and talk about, but there is nothing like it but it. 

I’m ready for that though, the letting go that I believe to be necessary for a hike like this. There too many things out of my control to have it all planned out, too many unforseen circumstances that will make any expectations of what I am getting myself into worth holding onto. It is going to be everything; all the emotions and highs and lows, the amazing people along the way, the pounds of peanut butter and nights under the stars. It’s going to be hard, and fun, and enliving, it is going to be everything. And I am open to it all. 

A Final Thought . . .

I think wiriting this out has made me realize a new reason for hiking the PCT. In the past I have struggled with seperating wilderness expereinces and more day to day life, leading me to escape into nature while resenting most other things. This seperatness is a dangerous idea that generally makes the majority of life worse. So a new goal of mine for the PCT is to learn how to weave these two existances (everyday life and the hiker life) into one. The seperatness is an illusion that I have created, as, in actuality, the lessons of the trail are lessons for life.