To have the opportunity and means to go on a thru-hike is a true privilege. However, identifying that just-right-time and culminating the resources needed to hike a long trail can be difficult. Near the end of last year, I recognized my chance to live feral in the woods again and on this day, I’m choosing to seize that moment before it slips by.

I Am Deferred

Hi! My name is Charity, better known by trail folk as “Deferred”. I first found my thru-hiker moment on the Appalachian Trail in 2021. The path to getting to the base of Springer Mountain in Georgia was a long and rocky one, both literally and metaphorically. But I now regard thru-hiking the AT as one of my life’s greatest achievements. It changed me to my core and arguably set in motion everything that has happened between then and now to get me where I am. And for that, I will forever be grateful.

But what has happened in the 3+ years since my first thru-hike? Well, in a way, I settled. After completing the AT, I had a new fire for endurance events and the outdoors that was insatiable. I wanted more. I wanted to hop right back on another trail and walk until I had either hiked every possible long trail or my legs fell off. However, when I left the comforts of my home in Kentucky to meander the green tunnel, I also left behind other important parts of my life. Most notably, I delayed starting my journey to becoming a physical therapist, my original life-long dream.

A major reason I stayed my course to thru-hike was because I met a physical therapist who assured me that PT school would always be there, but that the opportunity to hike a long trail might not. So in 2021, I chose the trail over school, hence the trail name Deferred. I have absolutely no regrets because, again, without the AT, I wouldn’t have ended up in Arizona, nearing the end of a long, but rewarding 3 years of education and clinical practice.

The AT satiated a small part of me that needed to break out and break off the straight and narrow path I had funneled myself into. It quite literally gave me the confidence to uproot my life and move across the country. And that’s where I have been for the last 3 years. I have been studying relentlessly, applying the compassion and growth mindset I found on the AT to my peers and patient’s, and also trying to have a little fun (hiking) in the in-between times.

Now that I’ve hiked nearly all of the big trails in Arizona and I’m facing graduation in a few short months, I’ve begun to see the opportunity again to escape to the woods and appease that still small, but loud piece of me that craves ferality, wilderness, and the joyous highs that come from type two fun.

AT to CDT

The Appalachian Trail highlighted an era of stepping out into my social being. Prior to 2021, I was on the quieter, shyer side of the introvert-extrovert spectrum. But I quickly learned that I had within myself an ability to relate and empathize, listen and understand people different from myself. And it opened up a whole new side of the world I had been too sheltered to realize existed. And I realized that I infact did love getting to know people, to hear their stories, and I loved sharing little moments with strangers that impacted me then and continue to impact me to this day.

Now that I’ve had time to settle into this new confident, social version of myself, I find physical and intellectual persuits more thrilling. Don’t get me wrong, I plan to meet as many awesome people as I can during this next thru-hike. But in the last year or so, I’ve been chasing the ultra athlete scene and want this next dive into the woods to be an exploration of my physical limits. I’ve proven to myself that I am capable of starting conversation with just about anyone, but now I desire to know how far my legs can take me in a day and how effortlessly or effortfully can I climb each high peak. I desire to expand my outdoor skills of navigation, encountering new wildlife, and traipsing through mother natures best and worst attitudes.

The Continental Divide Trail seems like the best place to test out these goals. It can be remote and unforgiving. I know it will test my mental fortitude and physical strength. I will be placed in uncomfortable situations (like sleeping in the cold… brrrr), but yet surrounded by other like-minded crazies reminding me why the present moment is sometimes best enjoyed after the fact. But I expect so much to come from this experience. I expect more growth. I expect more abundance, abundance of compassion from strangers, abundance of self-reflection and realization of capacity. Capacity to endure and persevere. Capacity to live with discomfort and pain.

I expect so much and yet nothing at all. Because a thru-hike is one of those times to challenge and be challenged and let the trail provide not what you want, but what you need.

Onward

Something I wrestled with prior to the Appalachian Trail was my why. Truthfully, I knew why I wanted to thru-hike. Actually, I felt in my body why I wanted to thru-hike. But describing a feeling is so challenging and I felt incapable of forming that physiological longing into understandable words. And when I did try, there were those who didn’t want to or couldn’t understand why I’d “want to poop into a hole.” Every, “I don’t know why people would want to do that” or “You shouldn’t be alone” hurt me. And it took a lot for me at that point in my life to overcome the feeling that I was letting others down.

But this time, I am not asking for permission or looking for affirmation. I know what I want and am going for it. I am giving myself permission and charging forward.

I refuse to let this part of my life go by without seizing the opportunity. It has presented itself to me and I would be remiss to leave room in my future for regret. I have seen the side effects of waiting and I won’t allow that kind of soul damage.

I have so many people to thank for helping me make this thru-hike possible. I would be wrong to say I am doing this all on my own. Friends and family reading this, you know who you are and I owe you infinitely for your encouragement and support.

To the CDT I go!