One will never be enough

I first heard about the continental divide trail when late one night in an anxiety ridden state in 2021 I was googling back up plans for if I didn’t get my PCT permit in a couple of weeks time. The stakes were high. 2022 was the post pandemic year and I really was not sure if I would get one. 

I remember reading something along the lines of ‘This trail is extremely remote and rugged and only experienced thru hikers should attempt it’. I was not yet that. I researched individual PCT permits incase I wouldn’t get one. The CDT stayed at the back of my mind. A curiosity off how far I may be able to push myself. 

3 years on from my late night internet search; I am proud to say I am an experienced thru hiker. I am part of a world and a community which my younger self would never have even dreamt of let alone known it existed. Should I be successful in my CDT attempt (and I barely dare to type this) I will be a triple crowner. 

There is always a ‘Why?’

Last year, I suffered through the torturous obstacle course of the Appalachian Trail. It was so hard. Mentally and physically. It was not the wide open spaces with the heart wrenchingly gorgeous sunsets of the PCT that I longed for. It was damp and humid and itchy and irritable and it felt relentless in its continuous uphill struggle. I honestly have no idea why people hike that trail again and again. I will hike the PCT again and again every year for the rest of my life if I can. Although first, I must get my triple crown.

‘Do you want to be an Appalachian Thru hiker?’ My friend Moo said as I called her fighting back angry tears struggling up another endless bouldering session in the White Mountains ‘Or do you want to be a triple crowner?’ In that moment which I had repeatedly announced that less than 400 miles from the end of the AT, I wanted to quit and I HATED that trail. I paused. If I quit then, I would have to go back and finish it to be a triple crowner. Onwards I staggered.

Now though, it’s time for my reward! My reward for hiking and completing the hardest thing I’ve ever done! A reward in the shape of a long path which will take me North from Mexico to Canada along the Continental Divide. 

Originally, I hadn’t planned this hike for this year. I thought 2026 would be the year. I was so broken from the AT. I literally couldn’t imagine walking one step further. Something inside me suddenly changed. A sad breakup, a realisation that I am healthy and strong and that I should seize the opportunity and the moment whilst I have it.  I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know if I will be able bodied and financially to hike for 6 months of the year. I miss the community. I miss being Scorpion Queen. I considered the idea of hiking the PCT again but I know it wouldn’t feel right until I’ve dipped my toe (plunged my foot) and stumbled through other deserts, other mountain ranges, other beautiful and wild lands. I NEED this trail. I need to find peace within myself and remind myself who I am and what I’m capable of. I want desert sunsets and high mountains and siestas curled up with the rattle snakes on dirty tyvek hidden in the shade of a lone tree, mouth try with thirst, hands sticky with sour candy. I need this. 

You can follow my journey on instagram https://www.instagram.com/juliette.outdoors/